A Visit With My Grandmother

This weekend I was visiting my grandmother who now, at the age of 95, has recently moved into a skilled care setting.  I was sitting there talking with her and bringing her up to date on the happenings in our family as I frequently have to do when I go see her and it occurred to me that my grandmother is the essence of Aging with Ease.  She is the true inspiration for why I began writing and trying to help others.  She is the reason that I care and respect older adults the way that I do.  I have watched her progress from the vibrant person who would always be ready for play to the old woman who now mostly sits in her chair, content with her life and herself the whole way through.  It is her attitude toward life that has aided her the most in gracefully going through the aging process.

I can remember when I was 12 years old and my grandfather became ill with cancer.  I can clearly recall the way in which my grandmother cared for him with respect, love and laughter.  Never changing the way she loved him or how they communicated with each other.  It always stayed with me how she faced the reality of the situation head on, would tell you what she thought about it and then just simply do what needed to be done.  There was never a doubt in her mind, at least not that I saw, of what she should do, care for and love him.  Of course, she would be sad sometimes, but it never held her back; she seemed, to me, to gain strength from the hard times.

Not long after my grandfather passed away is when she decided it was time to sell her house and move to a retirement community, there was no changing her mind.  She knew she could no longer care for the house any longer and the memories that she shared with grandfather in the house that he built for her was just too much.  It was time to move on!  Our family would discuss with her other possible options besides living in a retirement community but her mind was set.  She would say: "This is what I want to do, I don't want to live with my children."  So everything was packed up and the house was sold.

My grandmother transitioned through every level of care within this retirement community over a span of about 18 years.  With every move, she accepted it with ease and trust that she would be taken of even though with every move she was slowly losing her sight, her hearing and eventually her mobility.  She never once doubted her faith or her family.  She would find laughter in the situation and was always so very grateful that we were there for her.   So thankful we were there to make sure that everything would be done the way she would want it and that the things that were most important to her stayed with her.

Now, as she sits in her favorite recliner, unable to see anymore and hardly able to move with out help, all she prays for is a peaceful end to her life.  Not because she is sad or depressed.  If you would meet my grandmother, you would know that she certainly is none of those things.  My grandmother even at the age of 95 could still be the life of a party.  She hopes for the end because she has lived her life to the fullest.  She has no regrets.  She has lead a happy and full life by having fun and helping others.  She is simply just tired, her body aches and she cannot do the things that she once did.

She has gone through the aging process with grace.  I can only hope to follow in her footsteps, even just a little.  In my work I have seen the direct result of negative attitudes on a person's health.  The mind is the most powerful tool you have in overcoming challenges in your life.  She showed me how to always look for something to laugh about, especially if it is about yourself.  She showed me to just let it go.  She showed me that if you can't change what is happening, then find a way to handle it but keep moving forward.

I am truly blessed to have had a person like this in my life.  I think there are probably many people that don't.  All you can do is be responsible for yourself and your own attitude.  You cannot change the way other people think or behave.  The most you can do is maybe make them laugh, which sometimes is all that they may need to improve their attitude, at least for a while...

Finding joy in your life is the essence of Aging with Ease!

• When I originally made this post in November 2011, little did I know at the time that a few short months later my grandmother would get exactly what she was praying for.  She passed away on May 1, 2012.  Thanks to the wonderful nursing staff where she lived she died peacefully with a photo of my grandfather right beside her and her music playing, just the way she wanted it.  I miss her everyday!