Routines are set in life from the day we are born. They get us where we need to be. They keep us focused on chores that need to be completed. Routines provide us comfort and a feeling of control. They give us stability and make us feel secure. Even people that appear to be the most unorganized people you have ever met have daily routines in their life. It is human nature to develop routines in our daily lives.
If you are providing care for a person with dementia, these routines that we do automatically without even thinking about them become even more important. If routines are changed too frequently or not maintained well as their memory begins to fail, they will become anxious and resistant. In fact, many times when changes occur too quickly you will see significant changes in behaviors and an increase in memory loss. The more stability and security you can provide for them by maintaining certain routines each day, the more you will make them feel secure.
This does not mean that every day you must do the same things day in and day out. Who could live like that? You would be scratching the walls trying to escape. It is not realistic to expect that you must give up every aspect of your life because you are now caring for someone with dementia. That would only leave you burned out and depressed. You would not be a very good caregiver in that condition.
What it does mean is that at certain times each day, certain routines should always be done. For example, establish a morning routine that you can both complete successfully together. A morning routine could look something like this:
1. Wake in the morning at 8 a.m., go to the bathroom and brush your teeth together.
2. Meet in the kitchen to make and eat breakfast; read the newspaper.
3. Go get showered and dressed.
4. Go for a brisk walk around the neighborhood and discuss what is planned for the day.
5. Return to the house to clean up breakfast dishes.
6. Begin the rest of your day.
This is just an example of what I am talking about; whatever works for your situation is fine as long as it works and can be done with some regularity. This establishes a set pattern that a person with dementia will be able to participate in for a longer period of time as the disease progresses. They will be able to begin their day successfully and be able to proceed with the next part of the day more easliy.
Another example of a good time to set a routine is in the evening in preparation for bed. Develop a routine that encourages relaxation to provide a more restful night for both you and your loved one. An evening snack, a certain television show you can watch together before bed or an evening shower before bed.
I am betting that as you read this you are thinking: "This is like having a child." In many ways, it is exactly the same idea; if you are a parent you know the importance of routines when raising children. They are imperative at maintaining stability within your household!
I do however hesitate to use that comparison though because while the importance of the routine is the same, the way in which we deliver it is very different. You must remember that you are not caring for a child, you are caring for a grown adult and they will not respond well to being treated like a child. Dignity and respect must be maintained at all times. I go back to what I have expressed before in other posts- treat them as you would want to be treated.
Maintaining routines enhances Aging with Ease!
